


Enclave of the Lost

by jesterlady



Category: Being Human, Being Human (UK)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Belonging, Character Study, Conversations, Domestic, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family, Fantasy, Female Friendship, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Ghostly Trio, Male-Female Friendship, One Shot, Pregnancy, Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vampires, Werewolves, Where I Belong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-09 23:18:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterlady/pseuds/jesterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Nina ran away because she felt she didn't fit in with the other three.  Maybe she just didn't realize how much she did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enclave of the Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Being Human. The title is from the show

Nina sighed when she walked into her bathroom and saw her makeup had been all rearranged. Annie again. Nina couldn’t blame the other woman, if Nina was a ghost and had to be satisfied with one outfit and hairstyle for the rest of eternity, she might be tempted to overcompensate with other people’s possessions too. 

It’s just, Nina wasn’t really that girly, never had been. She got along all right, but as a child she’d been more interested in science and the insides of things than the outsides, more interested in healing men than dressing up for them. The horrific scar across her midsection didn’t help any, but, even without it, Nina had never been much for dressing up and shopping. 

Annie appeared to have been an extremely girly girl in life and now, in death, needed someone to be her dress up doll; as the only girl around Nina had fallen into that position rather unwillingly. George had whispered rather horrifyingly about one late night when Annie had pleaded with him and Mitchell until they’d agreed to indulge her and Mitchell had ended up with pink bows in his braided hair while George had tried on outfit after outfit until he’d wanted to strangle Annie.

Nina had to laugh at the thought and wished she could have seen it. Well, it likely never would have happened if she had been there. There was something about the three of them, about their friendship, that Nina didn’t think she’d ever get. They walked through their days as if an invisible cord bound them all to each other. She tried not to feel left out, but sometimes she couldn’t help it. They all just fit so naturally with each other, without even trying. Nina always had to try.

She’d been too blunt, too practical, too career oriented to have much time for friends. Even when she made the effort there was always something separating her from the mates she tagged along with to the pub. She couldn’t ever settle into their jokes or feel comfortable while they paired off with the random strangers they got chatted up by. It just wasn’t her life.

Annie would have fit right in, Nina thought; well, there was something much more…wholesome and intelligent about Annie than some of Nina’s former friends. Still, Annie had no problem conversing with strangers, putting people at their ease, making friends. She was everything Nina wasn’t.

Nina was rather alone, caught up in a strange world, wholly scared out of her mind at times. She was a monster, she was horribly in love with another one, she’d brought disaster down on them all without meaning to, and she honestly couldn’t see forward more than one day in her life. Having George helped, but after living with him and Mitchell alone without Annie for a month Nina realized how much they all needed Annie around. Annie brightened everything, not just because of her incurable optimism, but because of the way she genuinely cared how everyone was feeling.

Honestly, Annie was one of the best things that had ever happened to Nina. Nina would just have preferred that they’d met while Annie was alive and while Nina wasn’t a werewolf and when they didn’t live with a vampire. Or in Wales. Annie was definitely one of the things Nina had been sad to leave behind when she’d left them before. The compassion Annie had showed when Nina had revealed her scratches stayed with Nina even now. No, it wasn’t Annie herself that was the problem. It was their entire situation and the fact that while Annie may be a good friend, she was completely in love with a vampire that Nina couldn’t and wouldn’t accept as easily as her friend and own boyfriend. Besides, Nina was sure Annie would always be closer to Mitchell and George than her, no matter their shared gender.

Then there was the whole makeup rearranging thing.

Nina set about putting everything back the way she wanted it and barely flinched when Annie popped up beside her.

“Having fun?” Nina asked pointedly even while considering that it was a shame she was so used to Annie’s rent-a-ghosting as it meant she was accepting the supernatural.

“Oh, sorry, Nina,” Annie said. “Honestly, I didn’t mean to mess everything up. But I just started thinking about how well you look in pink and what that shade of blue would do for your eyes and…”

Nina rolled her eyes.

“It’s okay, just…well, just ask me.”

“Do you want to go out tonight?” Annie asked excitedly. “I’ll do your hair and you’ll look fabulous.”

Nina was tired, bone tired. She’d worked a long shift at the hospital that day, she was recovering from having every part of her body agonizingly broken and reformed a few nights prior, and her morning sickness could more accurately be called 'all hours of the day' sickness.

“I’m pretty tired, Annie,” she said instead of listing out all the reasons why she was tired, like she would have for George or Mitchell.

George because she always tried to be honest with him (half of her feeling tired was almost all his fault, after all) and Mitchell because she wanted to remind him he wasn’t the only one with problems.

“That’s okay, I’ve got a better idea,” Annie said, her face lighting up again. “We’ll stay in. Girl’s night in, so much better than girl’s night out. We’ll kick them out and it’ll be just you and me.”

“Uh, huh,” said Nina, who had been planning on curling up with a hot water bottle and a book she’d probably never finish at this rate.

“Oh, it’s fine,” said Annie, a smile lighting up her face, “you just watch. I’ve got the perfect film, Mitchell can pick up takeaway on his way home, and we’ve still got that ice cream in the freezer.”

“Sounds nice,” said Nina, “apart from you not eating and all. You want to be the one to tell them they have to vacate the premises for the night or shall I?”

“I’ve got them sorted, never fear,” said Annie. “You watch how I handle them.”

Nina didn’t have to. She’d seen it all before. The two of them danced to Annie’s marionette strings no matter how much they put up an appearance of protesting. Nina wasn’t jealous, she was just curious as to how it possibly worked, well…maybe a little bit jealous. Not of Annie and her happiness, but…it just seemed Nina would never have that same pull with them, no matter how many babies she had with George.

That night Nina lay on the couch with the hot water bottle Annie had thoughtfully provided and tried not to enjoy herself. But this…this was nice.

“Thanks for this,” said Annie as the credits rolled across the screen and Nina pulled the last bite of Chocolate Delite from the bottom of the carton.

“For what?” asked Nina.

“Well, it’s all just a bit…testosterone-y around here sometimes,” Annie said. “I like being able to just hang out with you, do girl things, talk about stuff that doesn’t involve vampire politics or whatever thing George is freaking out about that day.”

Nina laughed in spite of herself.

“He does get a bit extreme,” she said. “I love him to pieces, but the man has endless reserves of hysteria.”

“Yes,” said Annie. “I couldn’t ever live without him though. But like I said, we need more girl time.”

“Girl time,” repeated Nina, trying not to think about what other girls would be better suited to do this with Annie than her.

“Yes, Annie and Nina time,” said Annie, seemingly completely oblivious to Nina’s head self comparisons.

“Why Annie and Nina time?” asked Nina rather dully.

“What do you mean?” Annie asked. “We’re best mates…aren’t we?” She trailed off and then started speaking quicker, babbling. “I mean, I know you didn’t have much of a choice in the matter; I’m pretty much haunting your boyfriend, but you’ve made it so much better here and I love having you around. It’s not just that I was the only girl, though that’s part of it, but you bring something different to the group and I just thought it would be good that we have more time with just you and me because a lot of the time we’ve known each other has been spent in crisis mode, but I want to know non-crisis Nina and I’m sorry if I come on too strong. George says I-”

“Calm down,” Nina said, trying not to laugh. “It’s okay. I just…never realized you felt that way about me.”

“Of course. Am I a bad friend and don’t show it enough?” asked Annie.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Nina. “I’m the one being stupid. I have to admit…I spend a lot of my time feeling like I don’t quite fit in here with the three of you.”

“I’m sorry,” said Annie softly.

“No, you’re always including and all that,” said Nina. “But there’s something very tangible about the three of you and your friendship. It’s hard for me to touch though and I just focus on it a bit too much.”

“I guess you’re right,” said Annie. “Those boys, those boys help me to live. I just…refuse to have a life without them. George is so sweet and smart and earnest and huffy. And Mitchell…” she trailed off.

“Is dead sexy?” said Nina flatly, mostly because she didn’t really want to hear about Annie’s crush on the undead. 

It was too unsettling considering the feelings Mitchell inspired in Nina.

Annie laughed nervously.

“What? No. I mean, yes, he is, probably, if you like that sort of thing,” she said quickly, looking like, yes, she did very much like that sort of thing, “but that’s not what I meant. He just…well, he’s Mitchell and the three of us help each other. But you help us too. You’re strong and confident and sassy and the best mate I ever had.”

“You’re mine too,” Nina said, feeling more touched than she should have.

Or maybe she had just really needed to hear that.

“Good,” said Annie, sitting up. “Now…you just let me know if those boys are putting you off. Together we’re a force to be reckoned with.”

Nina smiled. Annie had a way of making problems feel magically solved. One girl’s night in certainly wasn’t enough to make Nina feel perfect about her living arrangements, but it did help her to know exactly how she felt about Annie, and about her relationship with Annie. It was nice to feel included.

Annie was definitely something special and Nina felt rather protective of her. Sometimes she really didn’t think their little household was very healthy, but Nina could live in it. She could live in for George, for Annie, maybe even for herself. She still didn’t know exactly where she fit in, but she was willing to try.

***

Nina leaned her head against the cool tile in the bathroom and slowly calmed her heaving sides by being as limp and still as she could possibly be. The tile felt good against her headache and she knew that only total isolation would keep her from having a nervous breakdown just then.

Which is why she expected George to burst through the door any second now, anxious to help.

As a nurse Nina had helped loads of women go through pregnancy but she’d never had to help someone like her before. Just like her to become the only pregnant werewolf the world had ever known. Just like her to fall in love with the first decent guy in her life only to have him turn her into a werewolf. Just like her to get shacked up with a ghost, a vampire, and a werewolf.

Just like her whole life.

Nina knew she was being rather melodramatic, but she didn’t particularly care. Her life was a bit crap at the moment and, even though she actually felt a little bit excited about the baby most of the time now that she knew she hadn't killed it when she transformed, she was still terrified. Never more than at moments like this.

It didn’t help that she felt so lonely and so isolated. There was George, but he just didn’t understand, literally couldn’t, being a man. Annie was better in some ways, but Nina hated the way Annie looked a little bit sad sometimes at the reminder she could never have a baby like she’d always wanted to. Besides, Annie was dead, she couldn’t feel the changes in a body like Nina could and Nina just felt mean talking about it. 

Mitchell was almost better, because he at least seemed to understand her need to be left alone when that’s what she required. But then again, Nina would almost rather Mitchell not be there at all. He was a vampire. A vampire. She could accept ghosts, she was forced to accept werewolves, but she’d never yet learnt any good of a vampire, despite Mitchell’s attempts.

She was stuck in a supernatural quarantine, unable to contact any of the people she’d known before, forced to live a cursed life for the rest of her life. George made it bearable, their new baby made it almost normal, but Nina could never forget how very different her life was to the way it used to be. Sometimes she wanted to scream at how different it was and how she hated that the other three had adjusted so well. Or seemed to have. There were bad moments for the three of them, but somehow they managed to shake it off in the after bits, and she didn’t know how to do that. Why couldn’t she do that? Why couldn’t she just be normal? Or their version of normal anyway.

A slight tapping at the door pounded like a sledgehammer in her head.

“Nina, are you okay?” George asked timidly through the door.

“Just a bit…sick,” she managed.

“Annie’s made some ginger tea,” he said, “do you want me to bring it in?”

Despite her current condition that actually sounded good so she spoke an affirmative.

His face peeked through the door first and she had to smile as the rest of his gangly body followed.

“I won’t bite,” she said, slowly rising to a sitting position.

He sat down next her holding the steaming cup in his hands until she got herself situated and was sure she wasn’t going to heave again.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “Do we need to see a doctor? Maybe Mitchell knows some very obscure werewolf obstetrician.”

“I’m sure even Mitchell would’ve mentioned it by now,” she said, taking the tea.

“Right,” he said, grinning nervously. “Still, I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” she said.

Sometimes it was hard to love George because he was so earnest and she felt more like protecting him than talking to him. Even when she’d been going through the most traumatic event of her life it had been him who had ended up sobbing, clutching her to him. She’d had to comfort him. She didn’t mind mostly. After all, she loved that he cared. His heart was so open and he was actually very transparent.

It had taken her a little while to read him. Their first encounter really had nothing to do with him and everything to do with her own frustration. Their second had involved him being completely the opposite from his normal self but she’d only found that out later.

But after he’d quit trying to break up with her, it had all become very clear. It was so clear that it scared the living hell out of her. They had been together a year (almost half of which had been spent apart) and already they were having children and planning on the rest of their lives. Her twenty year old self would have been appalled. Who did that? Who decided on forever after a year? A year filled with monsters and danger and massacres and moving to Wales.

But his presence comforted her when she was scared and his sweetness made her darkest mood lighter. The frequency with which she saw his ass didn’t hurt either. All in all, he was what she had always dreamed of. Just with the added monster in-laws and dark little secret that involved something way worse than your normal STD.

Somehow the trauma had brought them closer though. If there hadn’t been a vampire showdown, if he didn’t have the friends that he did, if neither of them were cursed, would they be at the same stage? She doubted it. She would have hidden behind her scars and he would have hidden behind his insecurities and there would be no baby growing inside her right now.

The baby, just the thought was terrifying, enough to make her want to lie flat on the tile again. What the hell had she been thinking when she’d decided having a child was a good idea? How could she curse her child into being a werewolf, into the life of hiding they were forced to live, into a world where she was the mother? She spent nights sometimes thinking about how she was going to screw up as a mother, about how much worse than her own she would be.

She felt tears running down her cheeks and she thought about trying to hide them, but George was always more observant than she gave him credit for.

“What is it?” he asked, less frantically than normal, which was good.

She didn’t want frantic George right now.

“Sometimes I think about our baby and I wonder how much they’re going to have to endure because of us, because of me.”

“We will never do anything,” he said fiercely.

“Don’t say that,” she said. “You don’t know that. We’re werewolves; we live with a blood sucking serial killer.”

“Be nice to Mitchell,” he said almost automatically.

Maybe it had been a cheap shot, but Nina still felt that on cue surge of bitterness and fear about how much of George’s life was invested in Mitchell’s.

“That’s what I’m worried about,” she said. “Why do we have to be so nice to Mitchell? I want to be nice to our child. I want them to not have to fear that they’re going to get mauled in their sleep. We have so little control.”

For some reason George was smiling at her.

“That right there,” he said, poking her softly, “is why I know you’ll be a good mother. You’ve got the worrying bit down pat. No soulless monster would worry so much over her child.”

Nina didn’t know why his words lifted her spirits so much, but they did. She held such a fear about what kind of a mother she would be that she needed the constant reminders. The fear wouldn’t ever fully go away, she knew, but she liked the reassurance.

“My mother used to sing to me,” she said in a low voice. “I loved her voice. Sometimes it was the only way I could sleep. But when I got older she got…distant. She wouldn’t sing anymore. One night I begged her to and she shoved me into the fire.” George’s hand automatically touched her waist where underneath her clothes, her skin was scaly and red. “What if I do that?”

“You won’t,” he said firmly, “but I would be there to stop you,” he continued, slipping his arm around her.

She sipped at her tea, not sure if she should continue speaking her fears or not. She felt better about herself in that moment, but not their situation. She would always wonder if she was enough for him.

“And what if you’re not?” she asked finally.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked, his face furrowed.

“I love you, George,” she said, “and I know you love me. But…sometimes I wonder if you love Mitchell and Annie more.”

“Nina,” he said, his voice horrified, going to the highest octave it could, which usually meant he was truly upset. “Don’t even say that.”

“But what if?” she persisted. “You can’t deny how much they mean to you.”

“They do,” he said. “I can’t even describe how much they do. But…Nina, you’re the person I hold in my heart. If Mitchell so much as even thought about hurting you or the baby, I would kill him.”

His face was sincere, his words guileless. She didn’t know if she could entirely believe him, but she believed that he believed it.

“Nothing like hearing your man will kill for you,” she attempted to joke.

“I’m serious,” he said, moving in front of her, framing her face. “I will always choose you, Nina. Always. I don’t think I’ll have to and I don’t want to have to choose, but it will always be you and our child, I promise you.”

“Thank you, George,” she said. “Thank you.”

He smiled and kissed her forehead, sitting back beside her. She rested her head against his shoulder and sipped at her tea, feeling a new strength in her bones. It was good to feel important.

She still felt awful and she imagined she would for awhile, but she felt better after hearing his promise. He would die trying to keep it, she knew. She just hoped no one else would have to die beforehand. She couldn’t shake that fear, but for his sake, she was willing to try.

***

Nina slung open the doors to the kitchen and stopped slightly when she saw Mitchell was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. He looked up and smiled at her, asking her how her day was.

“Long and involved,” she said, then busied herself putting her groceries away and fixing herself a meal. 

She would have normally gone right upstairs once she’d realized she was alone with him in the house but tonight she was absolutely starving and unless she wanted the cereal Mitchell was currently consuming she was going to have to make something herself.

He didn’t talk to her while she cooked which made her grateful. She wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, let alone him. Yet gradually his silence started to grate on her more than his conversation would have. Why was he silent? He normally talked quite a bit to her, always lurking on the outside of her personal bubble as if begging to be invited inside.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like him, but she didn’t trust him and she couldn’t let herself get too involved, not like George and Annie had. He hadn’t ever seemed to accept that though, constantly trying to help her figure things out or making sure she was involved in the decisions. Less and less of that recently though, she realized, almost burning her pasta. He’d been leaving her alone much more ever since Annie had come back.

Nina turned off the burner and wished she could pour herself some wine, she really needed it. She busied herself cleaning the counters a bit instead and hoping he’d take the hint and leave. It wasn’t like she could just take her food and eat it elsewhere while he was sitting right there, his bowl of cereal dissolved into sugary sweet milk, the newspaper apparently the most interesting thing he’d ever read. Finally she couldn’t delay any longer and sat down next to him. He moved over his things so she’d have room, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge her.

She was very confused. If he wasn’t there to accost her and sensed her need for solitude, then why wouldn’t he just leave? She stubbornly began to eat, her jaw chewing mechanically, not really tasting any of it. She could play any game he could.

Or she thought she could, but perhaps to a vampire, waiting was like child’s play. She was halfway through her dinner when she suddenly turned to him.

“What is your problem, Mitchell?”

“Pardon?” he asked, looking for all the world like the most confused adorable Irishman you’d ever seen.

Except for the murderous vampire bit that Nina imagined she could always see just lurking in his eyes.

“You obviously don’t want to talk, so why are you sitting here with me?”

“I didn’t realize I had a restraining order,” he said.

“Why would you want to sit here?” she said. “You and I, we don’t get on that well. We’re living together because of George. So why would you want to just sit there and watch me eat?”

“If it bothers you I can go,” he said slowly, “I just thought you might want some company, but I didn’t think you wanted conversation, that’s all. Sides, I wanted to finish the paper.”

If she’d wanted to drive him away so she could eat in peace she had probably succeeded, but now there was something else on her mind.

“No, now I want to know your plan, why you treat me like you do. First all bubbly and helpful and now distant and courteous. You always seem to know what I want before I do. What machinations are rolling through your head about me?”

Nina didn’t know why she was suddenly so angry. All her questions about Mitchell seemed to rush to the front of her brain until it was all she could think about. Why was he here, why did he want to change? Who did he think he was fooling? She’d seen his face around blood, around violence, around evil, and she hadn’t been reassured by what she’d seen.

“I’m just sitting in my own kitchen,” he said quickly. “What’s so evil about that?”

“Because you don’t like me,” she said. 

“No," he countered, "you don’t like me. And I’ve tried to change that, tried to give you what you need, but it’s the other way around, Nina. I don’t know what you want from me, but I do like you, I do want you here, I need you.”

“What on earth could you possibly need me for?” Nina asked incredulously, her dinner forgotten. “You have all the forgiveness you need from George and Annie, all the humanity required to make you forget what you are.”

“That’s not everything,” he said. He paused; putting the paper down and deliberately didn’t look at her. “I saved them, George and Annie. Oh, we saved each other, but I knew what to do. You see, I knew the world they woke up in. I knew the supernatural but they were alone and they were scared. I gave them someone to look up to, to guide them. Not saying that it was right for them to, but that’s what happened. So we moved in together, the three of us, cozy and warm and sheltered in our little house. It was a…haven from the evil outside. There’s literally nothing we would not do for each other.”

“I don’t see what this has to do with me,” Nina said bitterly at the reminder that once again, she was a newcomer to their group.

“I’m coming to it,” he said, his voice slightly teasing. She could see his face tense though and thought he was choosing his words very carefully. “George and Annie have to love me. There’s a bond between us that they need and even when I fail they forgive me because they still need me and they don’t want to let that go. They don’t realize it most of the time I don’t think." He paused and then started playing with the handle of his spoon. "I need them too. I need to…help them, something to keep me occupied, something to focus on beside the hunger. I need their love, their disappointment when I fall, their friendship to keep me going. But you’re different.”

“How?” she asked, terribly curious in spite of herself.

“You don’t need me,” he said, smiling even though he still wasn’t looking at her. “When you came along, I was so sorry for what happened to you, but I would catch myself thinking, ‘this is brilliant, someone else for me to help.’ But you spurned my help, you didn’t want to join our little co-dependent monster club.”

“It wasn’t personal, Mitchell,” Nina said, feeling very tired now.

“I never said it was,” he said, looking at her, his entire face appearing open and friendly. “Good for you. Our way is our way, but it doesn’t have to be everyone’s and it shouldn’t be. There’s something fragile about our arrangement. If one falls we all fall. You pulled yourself up, you walked away. You didn’t try to accept the monster, you wanted it gone, and you didn’t want to associate with other monsters.”

“None of us do,” she said, studying his reaction. “Not really.”

“George was that way at first,” Mitchell agreed. “But now he loves Annie and me too much, he finds some strength in the wolf, even if he doesn’t realize it. Not that he wouldn’t change it if he could, but having you as a wolf too is almost a bonus, a way for him to be normal and keep the supernatural, keep me and Annie.”

“Your point?” Nina said, not really wanting to analyze his observations about George, because she feared they were probably true.

“You don’t need me, so you don’t excuse my behavior,” he said. “You don’t look the other way; you don’t follow my lead even when you probably should. It turns out you're the one who keeps me on the straight and narrow because I can’t get away with anything. If the time ever came where I bollocksed everything up and couldn’t come back from it, you’d be there. You keep me honest, Nina. Thank you.”

She didn’t know why she felt like crying but suddenly she honestly believed she should. She also felt even more tired, because the burden of being a vampire’s keeper was more than she wanted. She didn’t want any of this. George and Annie kept her where she was, but it was too much to expect her to be Mitchell’s judge and jury when she was worried enough about keeping herself in check. She had George and a baby on the way. She didn’t need this and she was angry with him for putting it on her.

“How dare you,” she said finally, quietly.

“I know,” he said, ducking his head, “another of my atrocities. That’s why I didn’t say. But you pushed, Nina.” He paused again and kept going and she found herself craving his next words. “Don’t think of yourself as having to do anything. It’s nothing you have to keep up, just who you are. I don’t want to push you away or put my burden on your shoulders. I simply want you to know that you’re not just here because of George. Annie and I need you too. We want to be your friends.”

The tirade she had wanted to unleash on him dissipated in the tide of his words and she put her face in her hands, narrowly missing her long cold pasta.

“You’re just a little bit in love with pain,” she said. “A noble martyr, aren’t you, you bastard.”

“That’s me,” he said wryly.

When she looked up she could see ancient despair in his eyes and she was very very glad that the monster she’d turned into wasn’t a vampire. 

“Do we have some sort of understanding now or something?” she said. “I will always call you out when you’re being a bloody idiot.”

“And I will never try to change you,” he said. “Grumpy Nina with her beautiful morality and her adorable nose.”

“Don’t start,” she said, feeling like laughing now. She stopped and looked at him for a long moment. “I don’t know what to make of you.”

“You’re a bit of a mystery yourself,” he said. “But I think we both can agree that someone needs to ground those two before they float away in a cloud of excitement and hysteria.”

“Are we up for the job?” Nina asked, feeling more of a kinship with Mitchell than she ever had before.

“We’d probably work better as a team,” he said, winking at her.

She rolled her eyes and got up to warm her food again.

“You’re incorrigible,” she said. “I mean that in a horrible way.”

“But I think you love me just a little bit,” he said, his tone actually hopeful.

She turned and looked at him and studied his face, his very sincere face.

“There’s nothing wrong with your personality,” she said. “It’s what’s inside that scares me. Sometimes I think it will destroy us all.”

“Sometimes I do too,” he said solidly.

“Then we’d best make sure that doesn’t happen,” she said. “I will be your friend, Mitchell, but don’t cross me, don’t ever think I’ll forgive it. Not even for their sake.”

“I get it,” he said. “Nina, you’re the best of humanity, you’ve kept more of it than anyone else I know. You don’t want to get used to this life or make the best of it or accept it when horrible things happen or look at the big picture.”

“No, I don’t,” she said.

“Remind me every now and again,” he said. “Are we good?”

She busied herself with putting the kettle on (she really could use that wine about now) before looking at him and feeling actual genuine warmth, probably some of the natural affection that George and Annie and Mitchell oozed whenever they were around each other, and that she felt with George and Annie. It wasn’t perfect, but they’d started something tonight, her and Mitchell, and she wanted to keep going.

“We’re better,” she said, smiling.

“Cheers,” he said, before gathering his paper and going up the stairs.

Nina ate the rest of her pasta and then went upstairs herself, changing into her nightclothes. She didn’t stop thinking about everything Mitchell had said. Maybe she was still angry with him, maybe everything about their life was unfair, but he had been dealing with all of that longer and in a harder way. She wouldn’t forgive him, but maybe that was more for his sake now than it ever had been before. It was a little bit nice to be needed sometimes.

By the time George came home and fell exhausted into bed Nina was more content than she had been in years.

Her conversation with Mitchell had been tiring but very enlightening and she didn’t know exactly how she felt about him, but she was going to give him a fair chance, she was willing to try. 

***

At dinner the next night Nina looked around the table and felt lighter. Mitchell gave Annie a plate even when she didn’t need one and winked at Nina across the table. George’s hand kept wandering to rest on Nina’s stomach. Annie encouraged Nina to join her in her tirade against the boys’ dependency on _the Real Hustle._ Nina laughed with the rest of them when George’s voice went higher than seemed physically possible in the show’s defense. She tried not to be seduced by Mitchell’s charming persuasive speech about its merits. When she got up to do the dishes, they all shouted at her to sit down and rest.

She felt like she was seeing them through new eyes. Maybe this was what it was like for the rest of them; maybe this was what it was like being a part of a family. Maybe she could be welcomed, even integral, to their merry band of monsters.

Maybe she had a best friend who loved her for who she was and not because she was another girl. Maybe she had a lover who would put her first above all else. Maybe she had a brother who took care of everything the only way he knew how.

Maybe they all needed her in a different way than they needed each other, but that didn’t make their need of her any less important. In fact it might make her that much more important than she realized. Mitchell’s words about their fragile arrangement echoed in her head. Somebody had to be willing to see the details, someone who wasn’t him. Someone had to be human. If she could do that for them all, for her child and for her future, because she couldn’t see any future at the moment that didn’t involve all three of her current housemates, well, then she had to.

At least she was willing to try.


End file.
